Round 2 with Rich

Your first, but not last, view of Rich.

I still like the Mets.

Getting to Know the Bachelor

On Fashion, Part 1: The only thing I like double-breasted is my women. On Food: I was Midtown Lunch’er of the Week in January 2009. On the Internet: I made a comic. On E-mail: Whenever possible, I write in only lowercase with tons of ellipses and parenthetical statements. On Formal Writing: I cannot stand typos and I am vigilant about all grammar issues. On Media (recently enjoyed): Book: Tender is the Night Movie: Watchmen TV Show: The Wire, always The Wire Band: Phoenix On Travel: It smells just as terrible outside a Subway sandwich store in Shanghai as it does in New York. On Trivia: British king George I, as well as most of the Plantagenets, including Richard the Lionheart, were notable for not being able to do what? On Politics: I’m still waiting to get my Obama prize (stimulus check?) in the mail. On Fashion, Part 2: Can’t wear skinny ties cause my knot’s too thick.

Preview of the Remix

So this whole thing is getting started this week. But before it does, we wanted to reach out to our tens of readers and figure out if there was anything that you wanted to tell us about the blog or the dates.

Comment here or e-mail 7dates7days@gmail.com if you are a little shy and need some personal attention.

Date #1: Alma Ducksinarow

6:45 PM Inner monologue: Ok, I’ll get there early, set things up with the bartender, get comfortable. (Note: Date was set for 7:15.)

7:07 PM Arrive at Cibar. Walk in, breathe a sigh of relief that I dressed up a little because this is a classy place, and do that awkward, “are you, I think you’re” thing with the girl who happens to be sitting at the first table I see. Luckily it was the lady I came to meet, Alma Ducksinarow.

Me: Have you been here long?
Alma: Oh, only about 10 minutes.
Me (internal): I better show up 25 minutes early tomorrow.

7:10 PM Waitress comes over to take my drink order, I tell her that Alma and I are with 7d7d and we know Gina. She laughs and immediately escorts us to the nicest table in the bar. It’s good to know people in high places at nice spaces.

7:15 PM We toast our glasses in celebration of the first date of the week. I spill what feels like half, but is actually very little, of my Bellini Martini on the table. The waitress comes over and I ask for a refill. (Note: I actually apologized profusely). Smooth start.

7:30 PM Alma and I have been talking for awhile and the conversation is engaging and wide-ranging (as usual I manage to mention both The Wire and my 2007 trip to China), as are the drinks. She’s drinking a glass of Pinot Grigio and my Bellini Martini is just peachy. One of my rules is that when you go to a place that specializes in cocktails, you get a cocktail. I convinced Alma of this by the end of the night and I think she enjoyed her Key Lime Martini very much indeed.

8:00 PM Like me, Alma is born and raised in New York City. Unlike me, Alma is a devoted student of Capoeira. My inner monologue says, “Don’t get in a fight with this date. Fight a non-martial artist instead…I hope not every girl specializes in a martial art.” Alma has a variety of interests, including writing. I tell her that she should try to get her short stories published somewhere. At the very least she should write up a recap of our date. She considers it.

9:00 PM I’ve sampled both sangrias. I preferred the white one, but enjoyed the pieces of fruit in each. Alma asks me if I looked her up on Facebook before the date. I didn’t, but I might have if I had known her last name. I excuse myself to the bathroom.

9:02 PM Inner monologue: This bathroom sink is pretty cool, should I be taking notes on this date? It’s pretty hard to be drinking AND remembering everything. This date has been a pretty successful round one. I take a couple of notes onmy phone. They aren’t very helpful when writing this post.

9:15 PM We’ve shared some drinks, shared some laughs, and kicked off a week’s worth of meeting new people (at least for me). Will we meet again? Let’s check back in at the end of the week.

Date #2: Anita Mann

11:30 PM Inner monologue: Go to sleep! Stop the Google Reader. You’ve got a big squash match tomorrow afternoon. You think your opponent is reading about the change in Snapple branding or a study saying that men and women read differently? And what about your date? You have a really great night of drinks and conversation, say you’re too tired to write about it, then waste your time on this? On the other hand, you’ve gotta have something to talk about on Date #3, right?

10:00 PM “Got my kind of quality, Food Emporium, Food Emporium…” I say this to Anita as I drop her off for the night at the local Food Emporium. Except I sing it and promise her that I’m not crazy and that this really was a popular jingle once upon a time. Singing popular commercial jingles (D’Agostino’s, Crazy Eddie’s, Nobody Beats the Wiz) was a huge meme in New York during my childhood. I say meme for the 71st time.

9:45 PM Anita generously accompanies me to Artichoke Basille’s for pizza. I find out she’s a vegetarian (Why are so many more girls vegetarians than guys?). I’m happy that the signature dish is meatless.

9:30 PM There are some really drunk girls sitting across from us in the back of the bar. They look like they are headed towards this. We’re whispering and making fun of them while a guy is leaning over and plotting his move. I don’t think they notice us. I say meme for the 47th time.

9:15 PM Beauty Bar is playing great music and we’re on our third beer (Sixpoint Sweet Action). Turns out the bartender’s name is Lara and she asks me how it’s going. Trying to sound cool I say, “Pretty well, I guess.”

8:45 PM The old Twitter vs. Google Reader debate. A dork’s dream. She prefers Twitter, I prefer Google Reader. I’ll let that one slide.

8:30 PM We discuss the “Meme or No Meme” game show idea and agree that it has to be on the internet or maybe as an Adult Swim interstitial. I’m amazed that anyone I just met would talk to me about this and not think I’m insane. This is my lucky night. I say meme for the 29th time.

8:17 PM We have one Facebook friend in common!

8:00 PM We do the whole “Where are you from?/I can’t believe your commute is like that!/It’s almost warm, now we can walk everywhere!” thing. It’s a must. I find out that Anita’s brother is a 6’9” Division I basketball player and she is impressed that I am a rare person these days who admits to rooting for Duke. Sports bring people together.

7:30 PM I say meme for the first time and we discuss stock definitions that we tell luddites who have never heard the term and pronounce it “mimi” or “mem.” Anita also tells me about the meme I missed that day, a variation on this.

7:15 PM Anita Mann is right on time. Again, we recognize each other through shared awkwardness/me telling her what color shirt I’m wearing. I find out how to pronounce her real name. I get her a beer and our story has checked out with the higher-ups. Thanks Beauty Bar!

7:10 PM Playing the waiting game, drinking a beer, and considering a Martini and a Manicure.

7:05 PM Arrive at Beauty Bar. Not as early as I promised, but still not bad. I drop the 7d7d name and the perplexed, but intrigued bartender promises to check on it for me with the manager.

Feedback, Insight

Awzum Feedback From a Reader

Thanks Dan. Your advice is priceless and I hope to get more like this in Comments and to 7dates7days@gmail.com from other people with insight as good as yours.

Now, to address what’s happening: this is a reality blog. Not ‘Reality’ in the sense of The Bachelor, Real World, or Singled Out. Rather than taking the approach of having some over the top entertaining Alpha (i.e., Bro-Clown) male write, Rich is your average empathetic guy (not average in a negative sense). We’ll see what happens by the 7th date, but you can tell that Rich, just like me during my first dates (scroll back), finds it difficult to criticize at this time. Not to speak for Rich, but opening up for an audience (we have 300 readers now) is tough. This is intimate stuff.

When going on 7d7d dates, its amazing to find that you open up to girls, and them to you. What starts off as awkward hesitancy at the beginning of the date turns into a relationship with potential by the end. The last thing any decent human being would want to do is reject someone who just opened up to them, or break bridges with a good looking and intelligent girl.

Even so, I would not be terribly surprised if 7d7d Round 2 evolves into something more diary-like; more open and deep. And not because I’m twisting Rich’s arm. This is his show. But because I found myself very confused on how to write about the first couple of dates, with so little experience at this and knowing so little about the girls ahead. We will see what changes.

Or maybe for the next round I’ll just get some nasty son of a bitch bro-clown.

Thank you very much, Dan, and I hope to receive more messages like yours.

-Steve

Date #3: Vera Hotchick

“I’ll do what I can to help y’all. But, the game’s out there, and it’s play or get played. That simple.”

-Omar Little

Now that quote may be true for the drug game in Baltimore, but it’s not always that simple for the dating game in New York. Especially when that game involves seven dates in seven days.

I guess the hardest thing for me is figuring out if and when to take a date to that mythical next level. With a date every night, you would think that I would have it easier this week, but for some reason I feel like it’s harder. In the normal world, if you go on a date with a girl and you like her, you ask her out on another date shortly thereafter. In this world, before I can even figure out what I want to do, I am writing about it on the internet and then going out on a date with a completely new person! Oh, and living my life outside of 7d7d.

Enough about me. Last night, I was fortunate enough to meet my third consecutive lovely lady. She was really enthusiastic about the whole concept and was just looking to have some fun. She had even read the previous posts! Also, I got to talk about China again (she’s from Taiwan, so this was more legit) and show off my minimal Mandarin.

One thing that was particularly interesting to me about the date was finding out that despite working in publishing (after a variety of other interesting jobs), Vera was a passionate painter. I always find it encouraging to hear about people’s hidden talents and as Steve said in his posts, this is one of the better things about 7d7d. If you give people a chance to open up, they have plenty to say.

In conclusion for now, doing seven dates in seven days is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. I’m sure I’ll learn more about myself and I’d love to hear more about what the girls think. As a general question to get the ball rolling, can someone tell me why, even in this supposedly liberated age, it’s still so rare for girls to ask guys out?

Date #4: Fran Tastic

Where are Steve and Steph finding these girls? I have to admit that I wasn’t really sure what to expect going into this. It’s nothing personal, but all things considered, I didn’t necessarily like my odds with seven strangers. However, as I passed the halfway mark last night with Fran Tastic, I was amazed at how lucky I’ve been to meet these girls this week. I’ve given 2-3 hour monologues every night about everything ranging from my trip to China to The Wire. And the girls have actually been happy to listen!

Shoolbred’s was the spot last night and Fran and I chose to sit outside and enjoy a beautiful Friday night. When I dropped the 7d7d name, the bartenders were confused as usual, but also warmed up to the idea as usual (Steve, we’ll discuss this at some point). This was the first date on a real “date night,” so the place was crowded and there was a good vibe, which I probably liked more because it sounded like they stole my Songza playlist from that afternoon.

Fran hadn’t read the blog in preparation and I admired the fact that she just jumped into this with no prep. If I were in her spot, I know I would have been reading along every day, but this meant I was a blank slate to her instead of acollection of timelines and pictures of me in sunglasses. And as it turned out, we had a lot in common, knew a number of the same people, and both loved New York. By the end of the night, it really felt like I had learned a lot and wanted to learn more.

Me: So, what’s your phone number? Oh wait, Steve gave me that…Um, how about your e-mail address, nope got that too…How about when are you free next week?

Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with a photo of Ms. Fran Tastic.

Date #5: Bess Inda-West

I did not have an exceptional excuse for being late for my blind date. But I did have a joke prepared as I walked into the cafe (Le Gamin):

Me: I’m so sorry I’m late, I’ll buy you a crepe. (Note: I had agreed to buy food instead of drinks because Bess doesn’t drink.)

The joke went over decently, but it wasn’t a home run, much like the date overall. It was mostly my fault because I was super tired and had been hanging out with my college roommates late on Friday night/all day Saturday, so I wasn’t really all there. It’s hard to go from a certain mindset and environment with your best friends that you’ve known for a long time to meeting a completely new person.

That said, I still enjoyed myself and was happy that Bess agreed to meet me after whatever she might have heard from her friends Alma and Vera. Turns out that Bess is a non-fiction writer (and wrote what sounds like a great family story about kung fu), so I hope that she can put something up here on the blog because I’d love to hear some more feedback. It would help me get a better sense of how the dates are going and give me more material for the blog.

I’m hitting the homestretch and almost getting used to the idea of having a date every night. Scary.

Anita Mann, from date 2. Hello, Anita.

Date #6: Annie Nigma

The Dove Parlour was the location and it’s definitely a romantic first date spot. But it was Sunday night and the place was empty. On the plus side, this allowed us to have our pick of tables and to get drinks easily from the friendly bartender. On the down side, I felt a little like we were on a TV show soundstage.

I had just spent what felt like the whole weekend in Chinatown (including a little Flight of the Conchords walking tour), so when Annie told me that she lived there, we had a lot to talk about from the get go. I’ve been interested in the idea of living down there for years, so it was pretty encouraging when she dispelled the myths of it being too dark, dirty, and smelly, telling me that her apartment was actually bright and had great views of downtown. Most amazing to me, she didn’t even eat in the neighborhood that often! That would be one of my top reasons for moving there, although I guess I’d probably get a little sick of eating that stuff if I lived there to. Familiarity breeds contempt and all that.

After the Chinatown talk, we got into the fact that she grew up in Asia (she’s from Taiwan, spent high school in Thailand) and I went into show-off mode, trying to find the right moments to talk about which Asian countries I’d visited, where my roommates were from, and saying “I like beer” and counting in Mandarin. I left out the fact that I had a Korean ex-girlfriend. Didn’t want her to think that I had an Asian fetish, which so many people are so quick to think if, god forbid, you’ve both dated one Asian girl AND been to Asia at some point. No one would say anything to me about having been to Israel and dating one Jewish girl, or Paris and one French girl, right? It just means I’m open to anything. I tell people that I have a smart, funny, pretty girl fetish. But I digress.

I also found out who designs the layout of the booths at massive trade shows (e.g. Auto Show, Consumer Electronics Show), namely her. She used to be an interior designer, but transitioned over to this work, which is sort of like massive interior design. In addition, we both like walking around New York a lot (a common meme on a bunch of dates it seemed) and think SoHo would be a weird place to live.

That last paragraph was a little random, but that’s how these conversations go. Nothing is planned out and stray thoughts could lead anywhere. We’ll see if that continues to be the case tonight on my last date of the week!

What is a Oranjestad?

Thanks, MH, for your email today. It forced me to dig a little deeper than I normally would for interesting facts on the blog’s readers. I found out that we have a reader from Oranjestad.

Two Requests for the 7d7d readers (they tie in, I swear):

1. Foreigners: Hey, reader-person from Oranjestad, or any other foreign place, please email me at 7dates7days@gmail.com. I want to feature you.

2. Graphic Designer: Can someone make an Imperial Flag for 7d7d?

-Steve

Date #7: Jess Wannasqueeze

I had to wait for the final date. For various reasons, Jess and I couldn’t meet until 10 PM, but that doesn’t mean she got short shrift. We met up at Against the Grain and got to indulge my enjoyment of microbrews. I usually tend to order less common beers at bars when I can, but I’m not totally sure if this is a status thing or if I really like them more. I mean I know like them more than Bud Light, but is a Smuttynose Old Brown Dog that much better than a Newcastle? Does anyone want to organize a blind taste test for me?

Anyway, Jess was also a beer lover, so that was a good thing. As the night went on, we went over the usual stats and stuff. She was two years younger than me, grew up in Boston, and also thought that Fabio should have won Top Chef.

Finally, her attention turned to the blog. Going last in the order, she was pretty curious about who had come before her, but she hadn’t really read much of what I had written (I’m not sure why not). She decided to put me on the spot and see me sweat. Lucky for her, we were on our third beer*:

Jess: I saw a few posts, but come on, what did you REALLY think about the girls?
Me: Um, well, yeah, they were pretty good.
Jess: That’s all you can say?
Me: Isn’t that enough? (breaking down) Fine, fine, I’ll give the people what they want…to a point. You know this will be on the blog, right?
Jess: I’m all ears.
Me: I thought that they were all extremely nice and I was impressed with the different experiences and passions they had. It was a diverse group of girls, yet it was pretty easy to find something in common with each one of them. Going on a date every night was sort of grueling, but I can’t say that it was ever unenjoyable. Another couple of days and it could have become a habit.
Jess: Anything else you wanna add?
Me: Well, I guess I would say that if I were really forced to make decisions, I could probably only see myself going on second dates with two of them.
Jess: Are you gon-…wait, you’re talking about the other six, right? What about me?
Me: This interview is over.

Ain’t no way I’m telling you all everything that happens out there.

*The exact wording of the dialogue has been cleaned up for public consumption/making you laugh a little. I said the same basic things to Jess, just not as coherently.

April Fools

Candice B. Forreal is not a whore, and Steve knows first hand.

Best Recent Emails Sent to 7d7d

so let me get this straight, you convinced a girl to set you up on seven (what appear to be) great dates, meanwhile schmucks like me are paying waay too much money to try to find a date through a website? This is ridiculous. I’ve only read the first two dates so far, but if this works, I want dibs on the next round. I’ll try to blog it better than you too. I gotta get back to reading this…

-Rob

Steve’s Response: Paying for sex is more honest than JDate. Have you tried that yet? Go to the Christopher St. PATH Station and wait outside for 5 mins. See what drifts your way and keep us posted.

Glad to see 7d7d is back, but I think the next round needs to be 1 lady and 7 guys.

Give it a thought.

Hi Steve- think I still owe you a kick in the balls.

-Candice B. FoReal (all three lines above)

Steve’s Response: Fuck you Candice.

I think this concept is pretty amazing. I think that the next round should be a girl doing the dating. I think dating in NY is hard for both men and women, but give a girl a chance to meet some normal, well-rounded and intelligent guys!

Keep on truckin (?)

Inga

Steve’s Response: Let me know if you’re an eligible. PS - how do you think it will be different with a guy?

Maybe you can do this from your reader pool just like a quiz show gets
contestants from the studio audience. Just make sure you dont have a
date rapist out there.

-Steve’s Dad, Howie

Steve’s Response: I love you, Dad.

Annie Nigma Tells All! *

Annie Nigma:

Height: 5’6” Education: FIT

GradProfession: An interior designer and now working in Tradeshow/event industry.

Two Questions:

Why on earth did you do 7d7d?

My good friend Andrea who practices waterpolo with Steph submitted my name and I thought she was playing until she told me 2 weeks ago that I am really going on this date!

Can you recap the date?

I liked Rich. He’s boyishly adorable. I was impressed with his knowledge about Asian culture and the fact that he had probably been to more Asian cities than me.

* This is not all. I appreciate your email, Annie. In the future, the seven daters will provide 7d7d with more info, and we’ll share. Because everything tastes better when you share. -Steve

Bringing it all back home

It’s been a week since I last went on a date.

Normally I wouldn’t say that’s a long time, but normally I go on fewer than seven dates in a week. I almost feel like one of those college athletes who doesn’t know what to do with all his free time in the off-season. Not that I’m not keeping busy, just that nothing keeps you busy like having a date every night. That’s the first lesson I learned from this experience. What else did I learn?

I learned that everyone’s a little curious and excited about meeting someone new, but that it takes a leap of faith for someone to ask the another person out. And that leap doesn’t happen often enough. We’re all guilty, but it doesn’t help that half the population feels like they can’t do the asking. I understand that it’s hard to do. The thought of rejection is scary and it hurts, but it’s part of life. Not everything is going to work out all the time. Isn’t it better to know that then to sit around wondering? I won’t always be able to follow this advice, but I am going to do my best to be more honest with myself and others going forward.

I learned that I shouldn’t get so worried about going on dates. Maybe I should be worried about what happens on second dates (if I can get there), but that’s for another blog (7 second dates in 7 days). All of these first dates were fun and enlightening, even though they were essentially with total strangers. I got to meet a wide variety of girls and talk about a wide variety of subjects. And even when I repeated myself to different girls, I got to see different reactions. Maybe the next step might be asking out girls I already know I like (no offense ladies, I like you too)?

I learned that there’s a big difference between private thoughts and conversations and public blogging and commenting. Steve kept on saying that “you all” were clamoring for more intimate details (and he did post some e-mails to that effect), but very few of you openly commented on the blog about this issue. I’m not saying that I would have gotten into intimate details if I had been asked directly (I just couldn’t be that public with something that private), but any feedback would have made the process easier. I know that many of you had thoughts while reading that would have been helpful and interesting for everyone. And nothing would be better than recaps from the ladies (none of you had ANY obligation to write this time, but I think that this should be a requirement next time). The next dater deserves some more feedback and I’m sure that he/she would love to have it.

I learned that I still have a lot to learn. There’s no magic dating formula. Sure it helps to be polite and tell funny stories and buy multiple rounds of drinks (I did at least two out of these three things), but there’s still a certain inexplicable connection that’s either there or it’s not. Nothing is really going to change that and while I’m getting better at figuring out if I have it with her, I’m still working on how to figure out if she has it with me.

Thanks a ton to Steve, Steph, all the girls, and our readers. It was an enlightening experience and I hope you enjoyed yourselves. I’ll leave you with this wonderful quote about girls from this wonderful article about tennis:

“If I’m in like a bar, and there’s a really good-looking girl, I might be kind of nervous. But if there’s like a thousand gorgeous girls in the stands when I’m playing, it’s a different story. I’m not nervous then, when I play, because I know what I’m doing. I know what to do out there.” Maybe it’s good to let these be his last quoted words.

Thank You, Please Come Again

With <3 from Steve

Hi,

To echo Rich’s sentiment from below, thank you for reading round II. Every time you commented, responded, or suggested, or forwarded us on it made my day and kept us going. Thank you, all those who said, “This is great,” “This can be better,” “Fuck you cocksuckers” or anything that happened to fall inbetween.

In the third round, which should be in early May, there will be more of what you asked for. A girl will be blogging. She’ll be hot, and we’ll have pictures to prove it. And video. There will be more information of all kinds on all the daters. We’ll have bios, Q&A, criminal background, dental records, and credit scores, needbe.

In addition, there will be a launch party. It will probably be a faux classy affair (dress like a butler but curse like a sailor) and I intend on providing some drinks and chatchkes. In Round III, let’s all try and make it better by communicating more with the main dater. Stuff like, “Say more about the date!,” “Who is the most effable?!,” “I’m curious about xyz,” would be great. Just put it in the comments under the blog.

<3

Steve